Road Hazard: "Brush" with fame (in more than one way)

It’s been awhile since I last got my haircut so I decided to go out and find a place this morning. It's not easy to just walk into any place and get your haircut. You're used to going to one person because they know how you like your hair. So, with some apprehension I walked into "Hairport". I wasn't sure if I was going to get my hair cut or walking into some sort of small carrier. What also made me nervous (ok, with excitement) was that on one side of Hairport was a "massage" place and on the other was a nail place. Thoughts going through my head were...is this only for women? am I walking into one of those shady places where you can get "happy endings"? did I have a clean pair of underwear on?

I walked in and found a young lady at the counter looking like she spends a lot of time watching fly's mate. Not much excitement in her. I asked if I could get my hair cut and I finally saw a little glimpse of life in her. I sat in the chair with my eyes darting around the room trying to take in everything on the walls and on the counters. After strapping the pink bib with white dollies around my neck she asked the normal questions about what I was looking for. After I expressed my concerns she jumped right in and started snipping away. Up until this point it all seemed like it was all going to turn out normal...until she started talking to herself. She was wrestling with herself on whether she should turn the TV on and if she should watch the show again. I sat there quietly, hoping she wouldn't notice me and that she would keep the conversation to herself. Please don't snip my ear off in the process! After a few awkward moments she finally said, "OK, I told myself I wasn't going to do this but I am going to put it on again." She turned on the TV and video player to show me an episode of "Fishing with Capt'n Norm" on ESPN. There she was along side her man, Norm, fishing in St. Thomas. What was a silent, lifeless person when I first walked in transformed herself into this bubbly, proud, please watch me person right before my eyes. She even turned the chair away from the mirror so that I could have a better view. Ah, hello, lets pay a little more attention to my hair! When the video cut away to her shot, she would stop cutting to give me all the behind the scenes action. Boy am I lucky. I finally had to tell her in a polite way, of course, that I don't really care for fishing and the only fish I like are dead, blackened and on a plate. I didn't begin to tell her of my episodes of "How to kill a fish in three easy steps" as most of you have heard
.
Sorry to bore you with my brush with fame but I keep thinking to myself, why do these things seem to only happen to me? All I want is a simple haircut.

Here is a picture of Capt'n Norm:

I looked him up on the ESPN website and found out that he is going to be in the Bahamas this coming weekend at Marsh Harbor. Hey, that's where we're going! Maybe I can run into him and tell him that his girl has been smelling the hair products just a little too much!